Sunday, December 27, 2020

The Level of Cheer Expected

 12/27/20 

Christmas has been low-key (just the three of us) but hard.  I feel the loss of Joe acutely.  Have to go upstairs and cry at least once a day.  I was just on the verge of getting to know him on a deeper level, as a friend--not just as my sister's husband, not just as an in-law on the fringes of my family of origin. When I was teen, and even long after that, I felt intimidated by him.  Honestly, I was frightened by pretty much all men, had no experience with harmless, benevolent males.  He'd startle me now and then with an off-color joke.  It was a boundary violation, I have to admit, but innocent. Just a clumsy attempt make me laugh. 

My friend says fresh grief stirs up all former losses, and that's how I feel, as if the whole world has turned sad.  I try but cannot rise to the level of cheer the world expects at Christmas.    

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