Monday, September 14, 2020

My Family, My Politics

There’s a way to talk to people who like Trump without hating each other. By "people" I mean my own family-of-origin. Noelle and her husband and I had a carefully-worded discussion over the phone. They of course, take the opposite side in the Trump/Biden debate. There were a few tense moments.

I finally said to Noelle: If you and I sat down together, we would agree on our goals. Let’s take healthcare. We would want everyone to have access to good, reliable care, including those unable to work, and those unable to pay hefty premiums. We would want our elders to have access to affordable care if and when they are unable to care for themselves and not go bankrupt in the process.

The question would come down to, how? But the answer won’t come from an ideological debate over big vs. small government, personal responsibility vs. the common good. It will come from pragmatism. Where are we right now? What movement is possible right now? How can we think outside our political bubble, to come up with new, creative solutions? How can we balance, not eradicate, our opposing tendencies?

It’s like a marriage, that endless tug between personal sovereignty and the good of the union. And also like parenting: when do you offer help and compassion, and when do you hold the child to high and non-negotiable expectations?

Maybe we shouldn’t talk right after the election, Raelle said. Will we still like each other?

"Yeah," I answered, "one of us is going to be ecstatic and the other is going to be deeply depressed. Probably making plans to flee the country."

At least we were laughing.

I’m sure Raelle and I can find a path forward, with love.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Post

Forging the Second Self: A memoir in progress.

Forging the Second Self: Post-Teaching, Post-Mothering, Post-Midlife: Who Will I Be Now? Part I.: Who Am I Now? When I see myself a...